Five Months in 1970
April 25, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
It’s been a month since we have last seen each other. A whole 30 days. 730 Hours. It’s funny how the bigger the number is, the longer it seems. One month or not, I miss seeing your beautiful face. I remember the day I was picked. Your face was pale, and tears started pouring down. To fight in something the whole country wanted no part of was something I never intended to do. But I went. I remember it all, the drive to the train station. Otis Redding was playing on the radio, singing, “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” I think of that song. It reminds me of the peaceful times being back at home. Nothing major has happened where we are. We have been setting up hospital tents and trying to have a safe place to be.
Love,
Jude
❧
May 02, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
Nothing major has happened yet. We finished the tents, though. I have lost sleep being here. There are some big guns on the other side facing our way. We all have lost sleep to their presence, but we got used to it. They have been keeping us up lately. And the only thing we’ve lost is sleep. But I’m still strong as a bull. When those sirens ring, I’ll be ready to go out and run as if nothing happened. I’ve made new friends being here. I met a guy named Max. I asked him how he ended up here. He said he had dropped out of college and received a letter from his uncle that he was selected to be in the war the following week. He was in New York before he was sent here. He reminds me of the friends I had in high school. It’s nice to have his company while I’m here. Being alone and in this mess can take a toll on you quickly. The sunsets here are pretty nice. But those on the beaches in the Golden State. Tell my family I miss you dearly.
Love,
Jude
❧
May 11, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
It’s starting to get intense here. We are beginning to hear some mortars. They sent me to go build some huts. As I was building the huts, we were sent back to go repair the Hospital Tent. A mortar had hit it with no casualties, although some troops had gone missing through the nights. We haven’t slept in the huts yet in case of them being hit while we sleep. We chose to sleep in some holes we had dug. It was uncomfortable at first, but after a while, it was just like sleeping in the hut. There is a lot going on now compared to when I came over at first. More noises and explosions are being heard. Tell my parents I love them. I love you, tell everyone I said hi.
Love,
Jude
❧
May 20, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
It’s starting to get hot here. Dust is blowing everywhere. We are expecting some rain soon as well. We will be knee-deep in mud very soon. We had our first reported casualty besides the missing. A motor accident. He was driving and swerved off with telephone poles in the back of the truck. I want to get out of this outfit. I never wanted to take it off as much as I have now. We deserve a break. After all, we have been through. I don’t know when I will be going back home. I miss you all dearly. To be with you is what keeps me going in all this mess.
Love,
Jude
❧
June 12, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
They have us on the front lines four nights in a row. I guess since they don’t have anything for us to do, they will make it look like we’re busy. As more people are coming to join the fight, we have to build more huts. We have to build at least 200 plus huts for the men that are coming. Lately, I’ve been thinking about those men missing. Will I become one with them? Will they try to find me? I have never feared death in this way before. The thoughts of going missing and never being found keep me up. I feel like I hear their voices at night, only to wake up and know it was only a dream. Max has been helping me get my mind off of the thoughts. He talks me through everything. He tells me it will be okay.
Love,
Jude
❧
July 11, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
We have 72 hours to build a strip way for things to land on. They have us working 12-hour shifts carrying things that are around 140 lbs. Men are starting to fall from exhaustion building a strip. Their bodies fall in the mud from it all. If y’all plan on sending stuff, please send some potato sticks and some canned goods to snack on. These MREs aren’t the best things to eat. I visited a nearby city not far from where we are settled. The city was called Hue, just south of where we are located. A city in ruins, a city once looking so beautiful gone. Holes in every building. Paper scattered all over the streets. Windows were broken. Not a soul in sight, no noise, no movement. Just the empty city destroyed. We took stuff from there and used it to make more huts. I thought about the city often. I thought of how many women were there before it went down. How many children, how many elderly. How many people were killed in that city? Where did the survivors go? As those thoughts went through my mind, I wondered if we were doing the right thing. Is this our war to fight in?
Love,
Jude
❧
August 02, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
We got attacked by the V-C. They had bombed our base. Many of our men are wounded, and many others are dead. Now we have no place to stay that is safe. They tell us we are to stay put and fight till help comes. I don’t know if help will come. They sent me and some others to the front. Max was missing. We went out to look for him. He went missing after all the chaos that went down. Water was up to our knees as we traveled through, looking for Max. We found his helmet, and that was all that was found. We reported our findings, and he was classified as MIA. He was so young. He had life going on for him after the war was to end. I wonder if he is still out there at times. Or maybe he was captured and became a PoW. Max was a good man. He helped me. He didn’t deserve this. He should’ve just stayed in college till it was all over. Now my closest friend in this fight is gone. Will I be next? Do we have a date for our heads till we are killed or go missing? Death seems to be a thing we don’t see coming. We are all tools for him, we kill the V-C, and the V-C kills us. But death is immortal. An immortal using us to kill the mortal.
Love,
Jude
❧
August 20, 1970
Dear Cecilia,
“The Sound of Silence”—that’s the song, right? Simon and Garfunkel? Those words don’t even exist here. Not until we die, at least. They are sending us to the front lines again, this time to push forward and take some land for us to rebuild. I only have 60 more days till I get to go back and see you and the family. I’ll be there for Christmas… Hopefully. I am writing this letter in case anything happens to me while we push forward. I’ll keep you and the family at heart, and I hope to see you all soon.
Love,
Jude
❧
May 1, 1975
Dear Cecilia Robinson,
We are sorry to inform you that Jude Harrison went missing in combat, during an attack waiting for rescue. When rescue arrived, Jude and others were missing. We are sorry for your loss. But we found a box with a picture and this letter and its address was for you. Again, we are sorry for your loss.
❧
September 10, 1970
Dear C.R.
I’ve experienced the kiss of death 5 times trying to make a push forward. We couldn’t push through the enemy’s defense. We fell back and waited for a rescue to come. We lost a lot of our men. Rescue is to come soon. We haven’t been able to sleep; they keep us on watch all day. We are all exhausted, but we need to continue fighting. This will be my last letter until rescue comes for us. I should be home in 30 days if all goes to plan. If not, I hope they find me. The fear of going missing like Max and the others is not how I wanted to go. Those experiences with death were no coincidence. There’s a timer on our heads. If mine is to come, it will be here. But I pray to God that they find me.
Love,
Jude
Andrew Ramirez was born and raised in the Central Valley of California. Andrew is an English Major working to become an English Teacher at the high-school level.
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