Spectral
I used to think it would be fun
to be invisible;
to sneak around unseen;
to be hearing–
seeing–
touching–
smelling–
tasting–
existing
undetected.
I live on the edges,
form partnerships with those
who don’t like the
unavoidable all-revealing spotlight
of society,
who don’t quite
fit in, conform.
Something about us is different.
I found that this community is LGBTQIA+,
a rainbow spectrum
glorious in its entirety,
too often shortened, dimmed:
Lesbian-Gay-Bi-Trans
(twospirit-queer/questioning-intersex-asexual/aromantic+).
These last letters are infrared, are ultraviolet,
are invisible to the naked eye,
to the public eye, all the more important.
I’m in New York and it’s
PRIDE
and there are rainbows
everywhere everywhere everywhere.
The city is washed in them,
they flash on billboards,
in shop windows,
at street corners.
I want to take pictures
of every rainbow I see,
send them to my friends back home
because look how beautiful we are.
But
the smile of
look look look, we’re glorious,
freezes, fades.
With this newfound part of me,
inextricable from self,
I hear–
see–
touch–
smell–
taste–
exist
unseen, unheard, invisible.
I could SCREAM and no one would notice.
Because while the rainbow shouts,
We’re LGBT(+), we’re here!
it is simultaneously too broad, too narrow.
Yes, we are LGBT
(QIA+,
we unify under that name because we are not recognized by others)
but we are so much more, so much richer than that.
It’s like how there are seven colors of the light spectrum,
ROY G BIV,
that are visible to the human eye,
but we name them as all the colors,
ignore the fact that we are blind
to wavelengths below 380 nanometers and above 700.
Why can’t we be like
bees seeing ultraviolet,
snakes seeing infrared?
There are so many more colors to see,
so much more to LGBT
(QIA+).
Flags striped with
redswhitepinks, pinkpurpleblue,
pinkyellowblue, greenswhitegreyblack,
babybluebabypinkwhitereverse, yellowwhitepurpleblack,
scream our individual pride.
But these do not fly
at PRIDE
in New York;
my blackgreywhitepurple is missing from the flags.
Maybe it can be seen
as an afterimage
of the rainbow of pride.
I stare, count to 60, look away, blink.
There we are:
an afterimage, a ghost, an inverted reflection
of the publicized version.
Spectral.
Julia McConnell is a junior at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, Virginia; she is pursuing a degree in Animal and Poultry Science with minors in Language Studies and American Indian Studies. When not studying, she enjoys spending time with her friends, exploring the outdoors, weaving stories and tapestries, and planning her next adventure.
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